They knew we were pregnant and had 'heard rumors' about the twins. But yesterday I had a (very tardy) semi annual evaluation and one of the main things we talked about was the pregnancy and birth plan.
We haven't really told many people, but the dcision we settled with was to try to have the kids in another state. We know this isn't the easiest plan and has some opportunity for serious conplications, and it might not even work! But it is the plan that we both feel the most comfortable with.
To back up again. Our state does not have same-sex adoption or support same-sex marriage. We also have 'presumed parentage'. This means that whatever woman the baby comes out of is the mother. This gets complicated in cases of surrogacy, where the birth parents actually have to sue to get their names on the birth certificate, even if anyone is in agreement! The problem is, I can't legally adopt a child if I am in a same-sex relationship! They are BIOLOGICALLY MY CHILDREN and I can't even ADOPT them!!
So you see our conundrum.
So, instead of being able to stay home until the day the babies decide to come, we have to try to predict their due date. Or risk driving across the country and have her go into labor. We may end up being separated for weeks, I may miss the both of my kids. None of this makes me happy. All of it makes me scared.
Very briefly today I allowed myself to get excited/optimistic. Bad move. Today in my state, a judge ha agreed to hear a case against the same-sex marriage ban and the ban against same-sex adoption. In fact, the original law suit was merely for same-sex adoption, but the judge actually asked them to add same-sex marriage to the complaint. This was very promising as we hoped both these issues would maybe get solved at te same time. People were optimistic enough they were actually making lists of civic clerks that were willing to start performing marriages as soon as the judge issues his (favorable) ruling. They had planned on the state to issue a stay on the ruling, but people were getting in line to get married 'during the likely fee hors between the ruling and the stay'. Unfortunately, everyone was a bit too optimistic. The judge's ruling... Was that he wasn't going to make a ruling. Instead he will have a 'trial' to take place in 4.5 months. Well after the kids are born. Oh well, maybe next time!!!
In other news, a HUGE step forward! My VERY CATHOLIC employer (national hospital company) has decided to offer benefits in line with 'federally recognized spouses'!!! This is going to save us more than $6,000/year!!! Not to mention, if something happens and we have the kids in Michigan and I don't get on the birth certificate, we may be able to insure them as well!! That can get very expensive!
Well I'm falling asleep so off I go for another day. Another US this week!!
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